Rochambeau

Finding Balance

She was a psychiatrist, a mother of eight, an Episcopal priest and took time also to work with patients at a mental health facility which no longer exists in Dallas, Texas.  Her name was Dr. Ruth Barnhouse and the reason I can still recall her name after thirty years, is because her lecture left me with much to ponder, things I have never forgotten.  The doctor had an analogy about how a person is like a mobile hanging from the ceiling and suspended are these four delicate invisible strings perfectly balanced.  One represents our spirit, another our mind, another our emotions and last our physical state.  Her point was that when one thing one gets off balance, that the whole mobile becomes effected.  

I thought about this today, because since my mother died I have have somehow kept it together more than I thought it would be possible.  But recently my neck is stiff and hurts and I keep thinking that tomorrow it will be better, but after ten days it’s not. You know, I think Dr. Barnhouse has a point.  All of my feeling of sadness are coming out in my stiff neck and that has made it impossible to sleep well, so I broke down and went to the doctor today and it’s a good thing, because he explained it can be an insidious problem that can become chronic. He prescribed some medicines, gave me some exercises to do with weights three times a day, and I will have a massage later today.

The photos are of a Polish Christmas chandelier.  The craft is called Pajaki (pronounced pie ocky).  I made one to honor my husband who is of Polish decent, but also it gave me something challenging to do when I felt so sad about my mom at the end of her life.  Yes, art does save!!  If you google Pajaki you will find a bevy of examples, but John Mcray's photos of his class at The Castle in The Air was especially inspirational.   I used:  Natural Swedish straw, tissue and crepe papers, pompoms a needle and fishing line, scissors, and a ribbon wound embroidery hoop and glue.

Hope your Holidays are Happy and Bright!
xox
Constance

FInding Humor

While my mom was in the hospital, we amused ourselves by imagining that we could write a book entitled:  Hospitals for Dummies.  ;-)  Because seriously, there IS so much to know!

One thing she wanted me to do, is snap a photo of this reader board above with the smiley face drawing.  We were lucky to have Vernon P. as our Housekeeper and he kindly took time to draw this great message above.  When my mom asked if he were an artist, Vernon replied; "No, I'm an Elvis impersonator", well he did have dyed black hair, after all!   We got a lot of mileage out of that one!  

We're back now and although my mom is still a bit weak, it's true that there is

NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!

 

xox

Constance

New Bike Adventures

Do you ride a bike?

It's had been many years since I'd ridden, so I felt a bit apprehensive about  jumping back on.   But now after owning this new bike for just one week, I'm zooming all over town. We've taken many short journeys my bike and I and it's divine to feel the wind blow on my face and to experience new adventures!   When you ride a bike it can make you feel free. 

I've traveled to places I would not have gone by foot or chariot.  You are able to notice your surrounding in more intimate light and see interesting things you otherwise might have missed.   You realize the town you thought was flat, actually has hills!

A bike makes getting places easy and somehow your environment feels smaller.  I guess that all depends on where you live, but for getting around in a small town, it's perfect.

I've waited two years for this bike with a wicker basket to come into my life and finally my day has come and I don't take it for granted, not one bit!

~

Now, please tell me your bike story!

A Healing Hand

Nine days ago (after the green cast came off), I was shocked to see what lie underneath.  My sweet wrist was so swollen and I felt fragile, vulnerable.

  Also, it looked stuck in a weird position and that terrified me!  Still, part of my disbelief, was finally seeing the injury that had been hidden away under splints and casts for along time now.

Seeing my exposed arm reminded me of the accident and that made sick, a mixture of nausea and my heart beating too fast.

Quickly, I realized it was time to deprogram and face my fears, because I choose to be healed.

The process began, by forcing myself to look at bathe, caress & pray over my new wrist, everyday.

 Also, finally I had a good cathartic cry (when nobody was around). 

Then I wrote down everything..... ALL of my thoughts and feelings. 

Two days later like magic, I began to feel stronger inside and out.  My wrist became less swollen and it started looking more like it belonged to me.   I hit the darkest point, only to realize that the dawn was waiting for me the whole time!

  It's a strange feeling because, yes, it is still my left wrist, but in a curious way it is not.

This wrist is different, a new creation, unique from my old one.   

Each day I feel stronger and have more courage to remove the splint at home.

Without the cast I can feel my hand starting to come alive, again.

I'm taking lessons in being patient, (not my specialty). 

It is still stuck in one position and slightly swollen,  but I can wiggle my fingers!!

I give thanks that it was my wrist that took the hit and not my neck.

It's going to take time.

Healing is a process and a beautiful miracle.

 I embrace and am motivated to do what it takes to become whole,

Because........

I'm such a such a big fan of hands !

Thank you for listening.  

xox

Constance

Going Kelly Green

The Doctor said "Your arms healing nicely, looks like you won't be needing an operation, just a cast".  I look up and smile at my husband.  I've been too afraid to look at any of the ex-rays so far, but now that my wrist is healing, I'm a tad bit disappointed that I haven't.   A nurse walks in and says:

Nurse: What color cast do you want"?

Me:  White of course.

Nurse:  I don't do white, white gets too dirty!

Me: Oh no!!  What are my choices then?

Nurse:  Orange, Navy blue, Red, Fuchsia, Purple, Yellow or Kelly green. 

 I look wide eyed over at my husband who is reading my mind and he is grinning an ironic smile, because he knows me well.

Husband's thinking: A:  These are children's lollipop colors.  B:  Constance wants white, shes picky, I don't think any of these colors shes going to like for a cast.  And he was right.

I picked Kelly Green and the cast felt good, more comfortable than the splint.  But, immediately I was scheming on how to remedy this color choice for our library dance the following night.    After we got home, my creative mom looked at the green monster and declared:  "I know!! You should make a wrist corsage"!   (The last time I wore a wrist corsage was in high school).

So, that's exactly what did and it was quite hilarious, might I add!

New Tricks

Learning:

Reflecting upon the mysterious workings of the human body and resilience of our human spirit to heal.   Considering how shock , adrenaline & tears are a gift, one's that help us cope when the going gets tough. 

Learning:

To slow down

To rest

That it is alright to give yourself permission to read and watch movies in the middle of the day.

Learning:

There are many ways to accomplish one task. To invent new ways.  To be determined to learn.  To give myself more time to do a simple task.  To be mindful while doing.  To surrender curling my hair.

Learning:

How much my husband and mother are here for me no matter what.

Learning:

To let others do for me by accepting their help, assistance and kindness. 

Especially learning:

To refrain from complaining (thank you Debra).

Thank all of you, who have taken the time to leave your kind comments and emails!

They have helped me heal.

Love,

Constance

Life's Rollercoaster Ride

Last night I was composing this post.

It was about what a lovely time we all had, last weekend.

 

When I got up from the stool at my computer, it slipped, I fell backward and fractured my left wrist.  It was a bad one.

 

I wasn't smiling like last Saturday...........I hung out at the ER for 6 hrs.  At least this morning it's over with.  Must go to a surgeon, I don't want an operation, but wrists and hands are important.  Guess I won't be practicing my guitar any time soon.   I'm taking on using my right hand as a challenge.  All will be well!

xox

C

Pink for Debra

Thinking PINK for a beautiful blogger sister, Debra.  You can read her story here.

This is a woman who has found strength through her creativity and is an inspiration!

Won't you please join me?  PINK is the color of perfect health and the hearts desire.

Thank you friends,

Love,

Constance

OWOH ~ Windfall

 

In the midst of our Health Insurance complications this week, two surprise boxes were placed on the doorstep.    First arrived the Divas Divine  (two lovely and fashionable dolls), who danced their way into my life by way of their creator Jan of Cheeky Rose Boutique.   I had a feeling they would like it here and already they have made plenty of new amis!  

Next ~~~ Abracadabra :

The most amazing rose colored miniature magic carpet, flew over by way of Jamaise~of Wishing Penny!!  This isn't just any magic carpet, but one purchased by her mom as a child. The carpet is from Tehran, Iran.  Jamaise's Grandfather taught English as a foreign language and so her mother's family traveled the globe.  She told me she has been blessed to grow up with the most colorful stories and pieces in her home.  This small rug is part of a stack of rugs that her Mother bought as a young girl.  She sat all day and negotiated price with a Arab street vendor.  While there, all day she ate with the man and shared tea & sweets - a day she'll never forget and neither will Jamaise through her stories,  and now I will never forget the story behind my gift either!

Jamaise added all kinds of wonderful things to her box of surprise.  Here are just a few: 

There were biscuits and chocolates from Germany ~  

Vintage Cafe Rings w/ Rosebuds ~

Martha Stewart Love Birds ~

 

Recycle ~ Re~Use ~ Rethink journals by  ecojot in Canada.

 

Soap and lip balm and YES to Carrots facial mask with C.  and a glass dove to watch over us.
 

 

There was a beautiful card with well wishes.

And, thankfully Jamaise including these Casis Stress Relief candies which I have devoured.

After of a week long campaign to help my mom keep her supplemental health Insurance policy, here's how it stands:  Her oncologist shows her as having the insurance, her eye specialist shows it to be canceled.  The Insurance company says she IS insured over the phone, her check has not been cashed.  We filled out a form today with the Texas Department of Insurance, just in case..... hours of fun which I hope you will never enjoy.

 

I will dream of riding the magic carpet tonight, in a world where people who need medical attention don't have to deal with the stress of insurance woes!!

 Thank you Jamaise and Jan! Your gifts arrived at just the appointed moment! I  feel most fortunate!!

Happy Weekend to All!

xox

Constance

Funny Photo ~ Serious Topic

 

Question:  Why do you pay money each month for Health Insurance?   Answer:  To insure that you will be provided for, if you need Health Care. Right?  Well, read this:

On Monday, my mother (a cancer survivor), was given the unfortunate news that her secondary health insurance, United Health Care, dropped her policy.  Her coverage was actually canceled on December 31, 2009, without  her being notified until February 21, 2010.  We have spent numerous hours on the phone, trying to get to the bottom of this problem.  The health insurance industry is so disorganized.  Do you have any experience or advise to share? We need to get this straightened out. 

Thank you Friends!!

xox

Constance

Update:

Today the Insurance Company says that my mom IS still insured,  that the letter was a mistake, yet online her invoices indicate that she is not covered.   Fingers crossed this will get resolved & quickly.

Above: Riding elephants last Sunday at Los Pino's Ranch Vinyard.