Rochambeau

A Powerful Letter

There is a box my mother saved after my father died filled with his things, so today I was looking and having myself a good cry when I came upon this touching letter:

Dear Mr. Joe,

Have you ever noticed how things happen to you when you least expect them?

Several weeks ago there were some matters, which crept into my mind and heart troubling me, and they seemed to grow and grow.  We all have these days when we can't sort things out well.  The molehills began to be mountains and they were consuming me.  I decided to get out and walk which always helps to put things into perspective and rest my mind so I can think.  

The day was an unusually pretty one, but those thoughts were still in the back of my mind...popping in and out.  I turned up Line Street and traveled my usual route.  Then "out of the blue"  the most wonderful sound of lively banjo music filled the air.  A huge smile spread across my face and I wanted to sit on the steps and soak it all up.  I slowed but continued to move on down the street.  The music followed me several blocks until it was gone.  Gone from my ears.  But not my heart.  It smiled too!

I was amazed how much lighter my step was on the way home.  Things as always, took care of themselves and those mountains are now a thing of the past  I don't even remember what they were today, but I do remember the music that lifted my spirits.  Not only that day but even today.  I smile when I think of that music floating down the street.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU for something you didn't even know you had done for me when God sent me down your street that day.  I hope your windows will be open again when I travel that way and you will bless me again with your "HAPPY" music.

Thank you again,

Julane Thomas

 

There is a magnificent power in letting others know when you like something.  Even this letter has blessed me and reminds me how we are all touching one another, many times without realizing it and of the healing qualities of happy music.

 

xox

Constance

The Time for Thanksgiving!

TODAY I WILL REAP MY HARVEST.  

 HOW CAN IT BE POSSIBLE FOR A DAUGHTER TO LOOSE HER MOTHER, BUT STILL FIND IT IN HER HEART TO FEEL GRATEFUL?  I SUPPOSE THE ONLY WAY TO PUT IT, IS THAT IT'S A MIRICLE.  WHEN I THINK ABOUT ALL THAT HAS TRANSPIRED, IT HAS GONE SO SMOOTHLY.  I HAD SO MUCH FEAR, BUT EVERYTHING HAPPENED PERFECTLY.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR AND HOW IS IT POSSIBLE DURING THE HARVEST, NOT TO BE GLAD AND THANKFUL FOR SO MANY BLESSINGS?

~*~

THANKS TO YOU, WHO KINDLY LEFT COMMENTS AFTER MY MOTHER DIED.   I GIVE THANKS FOR YOU, BECAUSE TO KNOW SOMEONE WAS THINKING ABOUT US, GAVE ME STRENGTH!  MELANIE  EMAILED, SAYING; I WILL GO TO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR LOIS.  MY MOM SAID LAYING IN THE HOSPITAL, DO YOU THINK MELANIE WILL REALLY GO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR ME AT THE CATHEDRAL IN PROVANCE?  I SAID "YES MOM, I DO".  AND SHE DID!

FOR MY HUSBAND PETE, WHO NOT ONLY LOVES, BUT CHERISHES ME.  WHAT A TEAM PLAYER!  FROM THE MOMENT WE MET, HAS BEEN MY PARTNER AND HE HELPED ME AND MY MOTHER THROUGH THIS END OF LIFE EXPERIENCE AND NOW, HE TOO FEELS BLESSED.

 

FOR FRIENDS LIKE SAMANTHA AND JEFF WHO APPEARED LIKE MAGIC INTO OUR LIVES LAST YEAR.  AFTER LOIS DIED, THEY INVITED PETE AND I TO THEIR HOME AND OFFERED US A PLACE OF COMFORT AND PEACE.  THESE PHOTOGRAPHS WERE TAKEN DURING ONE OF THE MOST DELICIOUS DINNERS THAT SAM PREPARED FOR US.

FOR NOELLE CALLING TO SAY SHE LOVED ME BEFORE SHE WENT TO NEPAL AND KNEW SHE WOULD NOT HAVE PHONE ACCESS, SHE JUST HAD AN INTUITION SHE SHOULD.

FOR SOMEPINKFLOWERS DECIDING TO TAKE A PHOTO OF LOIS (AFTER SHE FOUND OUT THAT MY MOM DIED), TO LOS DIAS DE LOS MUERTOS IN SAN MIGUEL, MEXICO AND FOR ALLOWING LOIS BE PART OF THIS WONDERFUL CELEBRATION, ONE THAT I NOT ONLY BELIEVE IN BUT HAVE LONGED TO ATTEND FOR THE PAST 25 YEARS, WELL I GUESS LOIS MADE IT FIRST!  AND THERE SHE SAT ON THE TOP SHELF OF THE OFFERANDA PROUDLY,  SITTING BESIDES REBECCA'S FATHER AND NEAR STEPHANIE'S FATHER AND LEA'S HUSBAND, MILT.  WHAT A COOL THING!

 

FOR ALL THE TIMES DUTCHBABY HELD MY HAND (VIA THE PHONE), I GIVE THANKS.

 

FOR ANDREA AND LEITHA AND ALL LOIS' AND MY FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESENT AT LOIS' SPARKLING CELEBRATION OF LIFE LAST SUNDAY.  MY MOTHER MADE THIS JOY IMAGE (AT THE TOP) LAST FEB,  BEING ONE OF HER LAST PHOTOSHOP COLLEGES.  I ADDED THE BOTTOM PART FOR HER CELEBRATION AND IN THE INSIDE WAS THE POEM "MISS ME BUT LET ME GO". 

ESPECIALLY FOR DEBORAH FOR HELPING ME SET UP THE PARTY,

FOR MIEKO AND DEBORAH FOR HELPING ME TAKE DOWN THE PARTY.

FOR MOLLY FOR HELPING ME FEEL AT PEACE BEFORE AND DURING THE CEREMONY, FOR CHARLES PLAYING HIS GUITAR, FOR BRING THE DOM PERIGNON TO TOAST TO LOIS WITH, FOR THE EXOTIC FLOWERS, DINNER AT THE STILLWATER AND FOR ARRANGING THE FLOWERS.  TO SAMANTHA AND MOLLY FOR READING THE TRIBUTE I WROTE FOR LOIS.

FOR SHARON AND BILL BRINGING DINNER AND BILL'S FANTASTIC TOAST!

WHO KNEW THAT IT WOULD OR COULD BE SUCH A JOYFUL CELEBRATION? BUT IT WAS!  

THE FOLLOWING IS WHAT I WROTE ABOUT MY MOTHER, LOIS:   

Lois was a radiant and elegant person, she was curious and intelligent, she was compassionate and kind, not to mention creative and fun.  

 She didn’t waste time speaking negatively about other people and did not hold grudges.   She made birthday cards and Christmas cookies not only for her friends, but for the those she feared might feel alone.  

 She was disciplined in all areas of her life.  She exercised, she dressed well, ate whatever she wanted (including dessert),  however she never ate in between meals.  She enjoyed sipping white wine and couldn't live without two cups of coffee each day.   She liked spaghetti very much and was not only a fantastic cook, but an exceptional entertainer!   

 She adored animals, especially cats.  She believed in the humane treatment of all people and all animals. 

 Lois revered nature, especially flowers.  She would take me on walks and introduce me to all the new blossoms in town and never did she forget the tiniest little fairy flowers mixed in with the weeds.   She also was  a "Rooting Specialist”.  There  was always a cutting on her windowsill, that would someday become a plant.  

 She was stoic and extremely brave and rarely complained.

A few of her favorite expressions were:  "Life is a maintenance trip”,  “Everything in moderation”, and “Waste not want not”. 

 Lois was for peace not war and she was a peacemaker who preferred to loose a battle, than not have peace.  

 She always wore a smile upon her face, a blessing for all who crossed her path. 

 She adored being a member of the The Jefferson Carnegie Library,  and also belonged to the " Friends of the Library".   For the past 32 years, she checked out books and always had at least one in progress at all times.   She belonged to her book club for 25 years.

 She was smart and loved to learn.  At age 80, she turned her back on reading the encyclopedia and opted to google information everyday instead.  

 She enjoyed playing bridge and could sit for five hours a go!!  Mainly, she enjoyed the mental challenge and would  try to play her very best, as she didn’t care if she won or lost.  

 As a member of the Jessie Allen Wise Garden Club, Lois shared her talents and time with joy,  because she deeply believed in preserving the beauty and integrity of Jefferson, but she believed in historic preservation in general. 

 Her home,  The Barry Benefield House, was featured on Jefferson’s Candlelight Christmas tour three times being one of the first homes ever on tour. 

 Lois made a difference in our world, she was extraordinary and exquisite,  but when others would compliment her, she would just laugh, because besides everything else, she possessed humility. 

 She was a loyal friend and the very best mother and mother in law a person could have.  She and her smile will be missed by all who knew her, so now it's time that we’ll have to carry her smile around for her.

 Lois was an artist that choose to make her life a beautiful work of art!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 For having had such a wonderful mother for fifty~five years... I feel truly blessed!

YES, INDEED, I HAVE A CORNUCOPIA OF GIFTS THAT JUST LANDED IN MY HEART.  

MY MOTHER WAS GOING TO HAVE TO DIE ONE DAY, WE ALL WILL DIE.   BUT WHEN SHE PASSED, IT WAS THE RIGHT DAY AND IN A WAY SOMEHOW I WAS ABLE TO HANDLE HER GOING, SURROUNDED IN AND BY MUCH, MUCH LOVE!

~~~~~~~~~~

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2012 TO ALL WHO READ THIS!

LOVE,
CONSTANCE 

 

 

 

 

Peace for my Beautiful Mom!

 

 

She was and has always been the nicest person I’ve ever met and I mean it!  Often I have pondered how lucky I am, that out of all the mothers in the world.... I got her!  The photo above was taken on her birthday less than a month ago.  She always smiled and gave that gift to all who crossed her tracks.

 

I’ve always loved my mother, but we became especially close after my father’s death in 2000.  Together we could be silly and understood one another’s unique sence of humor.  Also, we shared a huge appreciation for fun and creativity between us.  For example, we might be driving to one of her doctors appointments, singing a ridiculous song that we composed about sagging boobs, called Do your Boobs hang Low? Even recently when she was so weak we would traverse up and down the hall (her using a walker) for exercise,  speaking expressly Pig Latin and we laughed until we cried. 

 

We’ve been on a special journey, since my mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2003 and because my husband is a kind and good man we moved to Texas to be with my mother four years ago, maybe to the day.  It was an honor to assist her as it has turned out to be a special time, a blessing for us all.   

 

A few nights ago, my mom lie dying and we held hands the two of us.  She brought me into the world and now I'm escorting her out.  I am grateful have been ther with her, and especially that she finally was on some good drugs to relieve her terrible pain.   This is the first time I have witnessed someone I love, suffering and it was brutal. I learned that entry into this world and the final exit out, is not always pretty or fun, but really never concidered that before yesterday.  Because my father died quickly, I had assumed that my mom would die peacefully in her sleep,  Unfortunately I was wrong.  

 

I am surprised by my fortitude to have been her partner on this special journey, however I have been preparing for years, learning about death and dying. Each phase prepared me for the next: like learning how to give my mother 4 shots a day, seeing her using a walker, seeing her not being able to eat, being in so much pain she could not sleep.  It all helped me to become more knowledgeable and braver than usuaL 

 

In the hospital, (two nights ago) after the Presidential debates which she watched intently, her pain was managed thankfully and so we sat together on her hospital bed until late into the night, holding hands, having a frank and terrific discussion about life and death, I told her why I loved her and we agreed how fortunate we were to have one another and our last word to each other were "I LOVE YOU".  She made sure I understood all of her wishes for after she dies and told me what a great great man my husband is and to be sure to tell him she said so!

 

At 4:10 am my mother took her last breath and do you know what?  She infused her brave spirit into me, because somehow, astonishingly I feel at peace!

 

Love,

Constance

My Dear Mom

Dear Friends,
My dear sweet mother went to the hospital yesterday because of pain.  She has not eaten in days and it was becoming difficult for me to help her because she is so weak and frail and was suffering.  Last night, even with the pain meds she felt excruciating pain and it was brutal to witness. Her doctor came this morning and she is now on a constant drip and is thankfully resting comfortably. Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers and know that for us both, it is a gift to receive your light and peace right now.  

Love,
Constance

FInding Humor

While my mom was in the hospital, we amused ourselves by imagining that we could write a book entitled:  Hospitals for Dummies.  ;-)  Because seriously, there IS so much to know!

One thing she wanted me to do, is snap a photo of this reader board above with the smiley face drawing.  We were lucky to have Vernon P. as our Housekeeper and he kindly took time to draw this great message above.  When my mom asked if he were an artist, Vernon replied; "No, I'm an Elvis impersonator", well he did have dyed black hair, after all!   We got a lot of mileage out of that one!  

We're back now and although my mom is still a bit weak, it's true that there is

NO PLACE LIKE HOME!!

 

xox

Constance

Happy Easter!

The Egg Hunt was on today, at Lion's Park and an abundance of les adorbles were on hand, racing to fill their Easter baskets with eggs!!  It was especially sweet, since this is only the second time I've seen children collect eggs,  it was actually very exciting!

 

However, when I got home, my mom was not well and we had to go to the hospital.  So, would you please think good thoughts and say a prayer for my dear, sweet mom?

Thank you!

&

Happy Easter 

 

Love,

Constance

 

Happy Birthday Mom!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful mother!!

 Queen of the Spider Lilies!

Love,

Constance

A Beautiful Float!

These joyful photographs were captured before and during our Christmas Parade in Jefferson.  This event is part of the charm of a small town.

The American Girl Book Club met a few nights ago as the sun set.  Each was given a Santa hat to don, before they jumped on their float!

 

It was exciting!

The girls were cozy with blankets and had candy to throw to parade goers!

We ALL had Big Fun!

 

Here's another gold star float that might make you smile! 

 

Dear Friends,   I've left to be with my friend Noelle, who is having an operation.  Besides helping her, I'm glad to spend time with my Goddaughter Jacqueline and her brother William.  We'll have a chance to do some fun stuff together and it means much, as Noelle and her family are preparing to move to Mumbai, India for two years at the beginning of 2011.  Guess I'm finally going to learn to Skype!

Hope all's well in your world today and will be for the days to come!

See you again soon!

xox

Constance

Giving Thanks

November Journal:

The Colors of Autumn are in full swing now ~

Perfect for a surprise picnic....

 

For a special friend~

 

Here also, is a photo of The Caddo Lake, reflecting perfect light!

 

Back indoors:

Have you read Girl with the Pearl Earring by Tracy Chevalier?  If not, it's a good one!

Also about books, my husband and I were trained to fix library books!!  It was wonderfully exciting, as I enjoy fixing things and making them new.

And speaking about new, this collection of wayward scarves and wraps has made a new home on our closet door and it really does make life easier!  Now, it's simple to find the scarf I'm looking for and also good to remember what I have.  If you would like to make one of these hangers, I'll be happy to explain the process.

~  Sneak Peek ~

My mom and I are in the process of building a puppet theater called Fantasia.

~*~

  I'm giving thanks for many things, but especially that my mother had some good doctors reports last week, a holiday gift from God.

Thank you for all the kindness you share here in blogland, for your thoughtful comments and cheering me on when I need you~  You will never know how you have touched my heart. I'm Grateful for YOU!

 

Happy Thanksgiving to All !

 

xox

Constance

 

 

Happy Birthday to my Mom!

Here is my mother last night at her party,  isn't she effervescent? Our friend Diana gave her bubbles for her birthday so we all went outside to give them a try! So hilarious and fun!!

She is a wonderful person my mom, and I admire her greatly!  She is a super disciplined person and this one word DISCIPLINE, really does say it all!

Here are a few examples of what I'm talking about:

~My mother does not speak negatively about others.

~ It used to be she was always reading the encyclopedia and dictionary and learning new things, but now she is Googling information and I mean daily!

~She exercises every day.

~She eats healthfully and takes vitamins.

~She plays bridge twice a week, five hours at a go.

~She reads most every night.

~She know how to use Photoshop and makes the coolest cards for all of her friends for their birthday's.

~She takes time to look her very best every day.

She is a great mother and a kind mother in law.

She is able to go with the flow.

One of her favorite quotes:

"Life is a maintenance trip"

 
I am learning from my mother, about the things I listed above.   

 

I love you Mom & Happy Birthday!!

xox

Constance