Have you ever considered how you gained independence and learned to become a responsible adult? Listening to a friend convey her thoughts on the topic of growing pains, I found myself pondered my past, unfolding early memories.
What were the cornerstones which allowed you to become the person you are today? Was it many experiences, or a just a few paramount things that happened? Did you learn primarily from a happy situation or from from the school of hard knocks?
For me there were two things that come to mind. First, I had the unfortunate experience of being involved in two car wrecks during high school and consequently undergoing facial scar revision, during college years. Because of this, I was offered the gift of learning how to feel gratitude for life and to give thanks for my physical functioning body and it also occured then, that all people are suffering. Some suffer on the inside and others on the outside and so I began to understand what compassion means.
The other 'life~changer' happened when I was a freshman in college. The blue skies turned dark one November afternoon when my boyfriend broke up with me. This was the first day my world came to a halt, still and desolate, as if I were floating in a dream, empty and alone.
What happened next:
A few days later, I began writing about my feelings. This was a gift as I was privy to see more concretely, what was going on in my life and that helped me to cope. Soon I devised a plan of action to reinvent the person I had been, sick of feeling alone and lost. A goal without a plan is just a wish; Antoine de Saint Exupery. At first, my energy was fueled by thinking; "I will show that guy"! But in the end, it wasn't about that guy at all. It turned out that his 'dropping me' was a gift he allowed me to give to myself.
For the first time in my life, I began respecting and taking care of who I was, both inside and out. I became a new creation and started making new healthier choices in my life and took on the responsibility of trying to be and look my best. I quit smoking cigarettes and started exercising. I realize now that this "plan", was actually my personal formula for becoming an responsible adult.
Thinking back, the hardest teenage experiences are what forced me to realize I needed to take action to help myself become a healthy and whole individual. So much good came out of this period of my life as I made a conscious decision to become a more social and responsible person!
Taking charge of one own happiness is an on going project, don't you think?
This dazzlings, delightful time of year makes me feel most alive and happy. The long shadows, awesome bright blue light and colorful leaves fluttering silently in slow motion, transforming into Mother Earth's masterpiece, this Autumn Wonderland, filling my heart and making me dizzy with happiness!
A happy surprise was delivered fresh today, a lovely handmade pepper wreath, grown and strung by our friend and neighbor, Deborah.
Using a needle and fishing line, she threaded the wreath in such a way (with loops at either end), so it can be hung as a garland too! Deborah explained that as fresh pepper's age, the green ones will turn red, then shrivel and dry. After, the entire pepper can be cut up into little pieces with kitchen scissors and you'll have fresh pepper flakes. I'm a big fan of pepper flakes, are you? Even if you don't eat peppers, this wreaths simple beauty is an inspiration, don't you think?
*If you don't grow peppers, you can still create your own wreath with any number of varieties, found at your local market. Well, that is to say you will find lots of peppers in our neck of the woods! ONE MORE THING!!!! Always be sure to wash your hands after you touch peppers, and don't touch your eyes while working.
I do believe in wondrous and symbolic occurrences. They happen all around us, everyday, if we only have the eyes to see!
An offering in memory of my father, Joe Muller.
On the night following the surreal day my father died, something unusual happened as I tried to fall asleep.
Beams of bright light illuminated into our bedroom, so I ran to the window mystified. Peering out, I was privy to behold an impossibly big moon, casting beams of light through swaying trees and hitting me. I stood erect and felt chills go down my back and heard a bird cry three times "Caw, caw, caw"!! I said to myself "Dad, is this you"? "Are you trying to tell me something"?
As it turned out, in a special way, he was. Since that night, I began a journey of piecing together a patchwork of recollections. A quilt of evolving memories about my father, but all things relating to Trees, the Moon and Birds.
Because symbolism has always been important to me, I wondered if this was my fathers unique way of comforting me and giving me a special gift, that only I could fully understand and appreciate.
Here is an example:
Exactly one year before my father died, to the day, something memorable occurred.
We lived in the sage-brushed mountains of Santa Clarita, California where it was pretty in a unusual, desert type of way. My husband would get up extremely early to drive to work, so I woke up with him and then would wait for the sun to rise and begin my day with a walk up and down a nearby mountain, where a subdivision was being developed.
On the morning of June 11, 1999, the sky was still the color of ink and the Moon still hung in sky, but for some reason, I made an unusual decision to start my walk early. And, I do remember feeling a bit uneasy leaving in the dark, so I removed my walkman to become more aware.
As I started to walk, the darkness disappeared into a spectacular blue dawn and as I reached the top of the mountain, discovered the most glorious sight imaginable!
The vista was pristine and lovely and I cherished it especially because soon, it was destined to become dotted with tract homes. The natural beauty of the moment was astonishing and the grandeur hit me in a profound way. I was mesmerized and became still, witnessing the magic hour of light.Trees stood illuminated in the distance, against a backdrop of a fading indigo sky and it was still possible to make out the full moon, disappearing in front of my very eyes. I stood breathless withchills up and down my spine. The wondrous beauty, feeding and filling my soul. It was as if I had become one with my surroundings and remember thinking; "I wish someone else could have witnessed this exquisite experience with me" and just then, at that exact moment....
a tiny whitefeather floated down from the sky, right in front of me and I caught it before it hit the ground!! What a curious thing to happen!? I pondered the experience as I walked back home, then immediately accounted for this unforgettable morning in a journal.
Many uncanny and amazing things have happened since my fathers death, that revolve around Trees, the Moon and Birds.
An abundance of amazing little gifts, ones that I cherish because they have delighted and comforted me in my time of need. Also, this connection has given me hope for everlasting life and most importantly allowed me feel connected with my father in a unique way! I can tell you more, another time.
One day, I too will know
We all will!
Yes!! I do believe in wondrous and symbolic occurrences. They happen all around us everyday, if we only have the eyes to see!